It's not right, but it's okay
by Linneagb
Summary: Tracy gives something to Carmen and Lily. It's nothing big or anything, it's just that all the other children are going to want the same and Tracy feel way more messed up than what she maybe should. So it ends up with the children trying to cheer her up again.
1. It's not right

**Oh well. Here there is nobody falling down the roof, hanging from a bridge or the whole building collapsing over Mike. But… I've got this idea. And I hope you like it. Enjoy!**

 **It's set somewhere right after series one of TBR.**

"Oh look at this." When I, Carmen and Lily came home from the mall after doing some shopping Carmen happily picked up her new, pink blouse to show everyone. "I love it. It's so nice and it suits me so well."

I would have to agree with Carmen on that, the light pink color would suit great with her brown skin and dark hair. And all of her other pink clothes.

"Oh nice shirt." Gina came down the stairs. "Is that new?..." Carmen nodded happily. "Not to destroy your happiness but could you really afford this?"

It wasn't until Gina came by that I had been thinking about it. But right away I fought the thoughts away that maybe I shouldn't have treated a couple of children with something. I was happy, we wanted to celebrate and I had paid with my own money.

"It didn't cost that much actually. They have this huge sale on the mall too me. Besides I didn't have to worry for it. Tracy bought it for me." Carmen smiled at me. "And she bought that purple one for Lily so I and Lily are best friends and actually do look like it too."

Gina smiled at Carmen and Lily, but didn't smile as big when she turned to me. I smiled back, I knew that look on Gina's face and wait… Why on earth would I be in trouble for this? I had just had a bit of fun with Carmen and Lily. Eaten some cupcakes and went to a sale.

"What's going on?" Mike came down the stairs, Carmen turned to him, showing the shirt to everyone who wanted to see and told Mike too. "Oh… Tracy, can you come with me please?" Mike had a sort of given up look on his face and it kind of scared me. "Just… Just come with me and Gina into the office, it will only take a few minutes."

"What?" I followed him quickly. "What is it? Did something happen?" Gina came after me and Mike closed the door after us. "What?"

"Trace." Mike slumped down in his desk chair. "What you did with Carmen and Lily today… It was great don't get me wrong. But the thing is, for everybody's well-being we…" He pointed. "You, I and Gina. Provide the children with what they need. If they want something they'll save up their allowance and that's it. Only taking them to a café would have been okay. But if we give one, or two of them something just like that. Then everybody are going to end up wanting something."

"I was just trying to cheer them up. And we wanted to celebrate that I'm staying here. I wanted to celebrate it too so… Come on, we just went to a café and a couple of stores and had a bit of fun." I smiled slightly and leaned back in the desk chair. "And we did. Isn't that what we want? To make the kids happy?"

"I know what you mean Trace." Mike still had that sort of given up look on his face. "But sometimes we have to make them happy with something we do not have to buy. And believe me, now when you bought something for Carmen and Lily everybody else are going to want something too and we cannot afford that right now.

"Then I'll pay for it. Without using whoever's money I used for this… Oh wait, I did use my own money. Money that I decide what it's used for…" I hesitated when I heard myself say what I had just said. "…Well, maybe not all at once but it's not expensive things. And cupcakes we can make… well… Tee or someone can make great ones I bet and all of them will be given an extra little treat. As a thank you for all being a part of what made me stay here. Because I am happy I decided to stay and I want to show it. Let the children be a part of it."

"And we're very happy too." Mike was sounding like he wanted to talk me into it for this to be good. "We'd love you to stay here forever and ever. And we'd like to celebrate it in all kinds of ways. But the thing is we don't do that kind of stuff unless it's for a special reason."

"And don't forget Cam. Priority for your money right now…"

"I know." I fizzled before Gina had finished her sentence about that I needed to pay Cam her money back. "And I also know Cam. And she isn't going to disagree."

"And what do you think the chil…" This time it wasn't me who interrupted Gina. But someone knocking on the office door. Mike smiled slightly in my direction and opened it. To Harry and Sapphire… oh, and Jeff, as usual in Harry's hands. "Yes?"

"Jeff says he'd like cupcakes and a new shirt too."

Mike sent me a meaning look, told Harry and Sapphire that he'd be there in a minute and closed the door.

"See what I mean now? Do you remember that time Justine was given her own TV? And your reaction to that? What was it you did? Oh now I remember. You started a Stowey House newspaper and wrote an article about why Elaine should get fired on why she gave a TV to Justine while nobody else was allowed."

When Mike referred to that time when I had been too darn upset of somebody else getting something I didn't I really felt terrible. This time it was just about a few shirts and cupcakes but I did see why Mike thought I was wrong. And while I felt my cheeks burning red I took the only way out I could think of.

"Well if it's that important. I wish someone would have told me about it. And not thought I'd just understand from something that happened years and years ago." I stood up and reached for my jacket and bag. "My shift is over now."

"Going to leave us with explaining to the children why they can't have anything too?"

"Yes." I hurried out of the room before Gina had the time to say anything else and slammed the door after me, then hurried out of the house. "No, not right now. I gotta catch the bus."

Just as I came outside I saw the bus leaving without me. And with a deep sigh I started walking home. I needed some time to think on my own anyway.

Why couldn't I once? Just once do something right. That actually ended up being right too?

I honestly wasn't so sure why that darn lump had risen in my throat and tears were burning in my eyes. I wasn't a person who cried much, had never been neither. So why would I be crying right now? When nothing had actually happened.

 _Something did happen you idiot. And it was all because of you._

I certainly did not get what was making me feel so upset though.

 _Why couldn't I ever do something right?_

 **Random fact**

So, as you maybe can see I have gotten kind of stuck writing stories about Tracy. And yes, x snow-pony x would need some credit for that. Haha. I hope you like this and I hope you'll like the next chapter. See you then!


	2. But it can be made okay

**Thanks to x snow-pony x, C. Waif and Maleeha x for reviewing.**

 **I'm sorry it's taken me ages to update. I just didn't know how to continue and end this.**

 **It's funny how I'm putting this up today because x snow-pony x inspired me to write this story and today is her birthday. So HAPPY BIRTHDAY to her and here is one of the presents I made for you.**

"Ugh." I moaned to Cam. "I don't, don't, don't want to go to work today."

"Why?" Cam came into the hallway. "Because of what Mike and Gina said about those shirts you bought for Carmen and Lily? Tracy. You know what it's like at the dumping ground. They'll have forgotten all about it by the time you get there."

"I do know what it's like on the dumping ground." I gave a deep sigh. "And I know it's not that simple. I'll be walking there today. I need to do some thinking and I just can't sit around without doing anything for like ages before I'll catch the bus. See you later. Now Tracy, don't worry so much about this."

I sighed again, but didn't answer Cam or say goodbye before I went to the door and closed it after me.

Maybe something of what I felt after all of this had something to do with the time that Justine had gotten a small television. And the memories of how angry I had been that I hadn't gotten anything. I had been just another kid in care after all.

Some of the things were still the same from one kid to another. And after all of my years in care I should have known not to give Carmen and Lily anything that I couldn't give the others. I got a shirt and some cupcakes couldn't be compared to the TV Justine had gotten but… How could I had been so stupid?

"Tracy." The first one I met coming inside the dumping ground was Mike. And at first I thought he would continue on the lecture he and Gina had given me yesterday. "Tee had an idea last night and… I think you should search her up." I couldn't help but notice the smile on his lips and the almost mischievous sparkle in his eyes. "Last time I saw her she was in Sapphire's room."

The way Mike looked had me sneaky and I didn't even care for getting my jacket off before I hurried up the stairs and soon found Tee with a fabric bag and what first looked like a piece of fabric in her hands.

"Hi Tracy."

"Hey." I couldn't help but smile when I found Tee in the hallway. "What's that?" She held up a dark purple, knitted shirt. "You made that one since yesterday?"

"No of course not." Tee pulled off a fabric bag she had some things in. "Knitting takes some time. But a while ago I started making these random shirts for everybody. But I never found a good moment to hand them out. Until now when you gave shirts to Carmen and Lily and everybody are moaning about that they want new things too. These are homemade. I made them all. But people seem to like them. Hey Liam." She caught the boy who came in the hallway and held him the knitted shirt. "I made this for you."

I had never really imagined Liam O'Donovan being one to wear anything else than hoodies. But he happily pulled the hoodie off and pulled the new, knitted shirt over his T shirt.

"Great." Liam smiled, and it seemed as if he meant what he said when he smiled and pulled the fabric to make it fit just right. "Suits perfectly. Thanks Tee." Leaving his hoodie on the hallway floor Liam walked away whistling to himself.

"Who's next?"

"GUS." Tee shouted for the boy with the notebook in the hallway. And I couldn't help but wonder what he would think of something he wouldn't usually wear. "Here. I have a shirt for you too. I know it's not what you usually wear but try it on. You might like it anyway and it might keep you warm in the winter." She held it up, Gus looked it up and down before he opened his notebook and quickly wrote something.

"Tee is giving me a shirt." He spoke out loud while writing "It doesn't look like something I would usually wear. But she says I might like it anyway and it will keep me warm for the winter." Gus put his pen and notebook in his pockets, then took the shirt from Tee and pulled it over his head. "Hmmm…" He pulled the notebook and pen from his pocket. "I don't know if I'm going to wear this one. But it is nice of Tee to fix what Tracy did wrong earlier. When she paid for new shirts and cupcakes for Carmen and Lily and everybody else wanted new shirts too. Lily and Carmen are baking cupcakes for everybody to eat." Gus studied what he had just written, then pulled the knitted shirt off and walked into his room holding onto it.

"Oh well. I would have known that's what he would say." Tee shrugged. "And here's yours." She held up a T shirt to me. "I didn't make this all by myself. I bought the plain, black T shirt." I held it up in front of me. "Then I used some leftover pieces of the other ones' I made and made the text. Can you see what it says?"

"Yeah." I smiled. "World's best care worker… And the text in a whole lot of different colors and patterns. This shirt just screams Tracy Beaker." I pulled it over the long-sleeved T shirt I was wearing. "Do I look okay?"

"It turned out what you did didn't cause so much trouble after all." Before Tee had answered Mike passed us in the hallway and read the text on my shirt. "World's best care worker? I think I'll have to disagree with that." He peered jokingly "Aren't you going to make one of those for me soon? I want a new shirt too."

Mike smirked when he walked away but Tee on the other hand looked distressed and scratched her head as if she was wondering about something.

"I have made shirts for almost everybody. I just can't think of anything for Mike or Toby. I even made one for Jeff." When we passed Harry in the hallway I noticed Harry was wearing a shirt with a mustard yellow color printed with small giraffes all over. And a small piece of the same fabric having been tied around Jeff's neck as a cloak. "Why can't I think of anything for them?"

"Oh don't worry. I'm sure you'll come up with something." I looked to the printed teapot that Tee had sewn onto a long sleeved T shirt. "And you always have new and unique shirts from what you do with them. But you're not getting a new shirt today then."

"Oh that's okay." Tee pulled up another one from her bag. "This is a blue hoodie for Johnny that I made. Look. It has his name written on the back. Tracy? Are you listening to me."

"I have an idea… I just need to go and do something. I swear to you, you'll get a new shirt too like everybody else. Mike." I quickly hurried up to him. "I just… I have an idea for something I could give Tee and… I need to go home and get it." Mike raised an eyebrow. "I just need you to stay until I get back because Gina will be furious if we leave her alone. Thank you Mike." I didn't wait for an answer. "I'll be back soon. I think there's a bus from here to there soon so I won't have to walk the whole way back and forth. See you later."

Still without waiting for an answer I closed the door after me and ran down the driveway. I was in more luck this time than yesterday. Because jJust as I came down the street the bus pulled over by the stop and I could step right on it. Then, with my knee bobbing up and down in nervous hyperactivity until, after what felt like a million years the bus pulled over in front of mine and Cam's house.

"Are you back already? I thought you were working all day."

"I am." I more or less run up the stairs and to our storage room. "I just needed to get something. Do you remember that shirt I was wearing when we met that first time?" I asked while I searched through a big carton that had "Clothes Tracy" written on it. "That red and blue one that should be here somewhere?"

"I wouldn't be so sure. Maybe it got lost in the fire when I fostered you the first time." I couldn't help but to glare back on Cam. I knew I had seen it since then. "You mean that hideous, fluffy, red and blue thing?"

"It wasn't hideous. And it was all soft and fluffy. You know what I did? Bought shirts for Carmen and Lily and then everybody wanted one? Well. As it turned out. Tee has already made some shirts for the others. But then, that's unfair. Because she won't get one. I could just go and buy her a new one but I think that sweater could suit her. If I could just find it."

"Didn't you throw it away when we moved away from Gary?"

"No I didn't." I threw an old pair of jeans into one box and pushed it to the side. "I kept it as a memory. Where is it?" I grabbed a whole box and held it upside down. "Oh there it is." I picked the sweater up from the top of the pile of clothes falling out. "I have to go back to work now. But I'll clean this up when I come home. Okay?" Without waiting for a reply I was out of the house, down the street and by the bus stop just in time for the bus going back towards the dumping ground.

"Hey." When I came back to the dumping ground Tee was sitting on her bed in her room. "I found an old shirt of mine that I thought would suit you.." I held the shirt up for the young girl to see. "I wore this the first time I met Cam. Maybe it brings luck with it…" Tee smiled slightly and laid it on her lap feeling the fabric. "Along with way too much makeup I didn't know how to use. The girl who did know how to use it, Adele. She was furious." Tee chuckled and then pulled the shirt over her head.

"Sounds like just a normal day at the dumping ground. Now there's only Mike and Toby left who haven't got any new shirts. This one is really soft. Thank you Tracy." Tee made a pause and suddenly sniffed in the air. "Do you smell something burning?" I smelled too, then felt a frown for on my forehead when I realized Tee was right, it really did feel like something was on fire.

"Carmen and Lily and the cupcakes." Tee almost shouted and more or less flew onto her feet and hurried down the hallway, with me right after her. And more and more of us when the smoke alarm went off and started ringing loudly through the house. "They wanted to make them so everybody would get each new shirt and cupcake."

I and Tee together had to squeeze our way through the group of people that had gathered outside the kitchen. Yet it was quite obvious what was going on and I nodded.

"Yep." I couldn't help but cough when Gina lifted what was left of those cupcakes out of the oven and put it on the stove. "Just another normal day at the dumping ground." I had to make a pause to cough again. And on my way to open the door I spotted something. "Is that frosting?" Lily nodded and held the bowl, filled with frosting up. "You know what we could do?" The girls all shook their heads. "Well…"

"What we could do." Gina interrupted me. She gave me a slight smile but still made it very clear she was being strict in that kind way only Gina could. "Is say that nobody should go off and buy stuff for the others. Or this will happen again."

"What we could do is put frosting in bowls and eat with spoons?" I interrupted and didn't mind Gina's annoyed look. "Or what do you say girls?"

 **So that's the end of the chapter and this short story.**

 **Random fact**

Yep. I do have a list of what kind of shirts Tee would have made for everybody. And the reason she says she only has Mike and Toby's left is because I couldn't think of any for those two.

 **Is it just me or was this a really boring chapter and ending?**


End file.
